She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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