Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
