Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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