My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
