apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize