Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
how does that bad decision feel?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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