i jhust puked up my retainher.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I see more hoeing in ur future
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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