So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
