If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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