Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
