Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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