It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
