I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
