I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize