i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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