I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
