wat bout pragnant strippers??
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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