but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
