Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
