Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize