i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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