maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
