Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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