she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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