i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize