I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
