So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
