Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
