Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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