3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Randomize