I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
