Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
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Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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