This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
