he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
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she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?