I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm