I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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