We won't sleep together?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
