she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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