I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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