Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
