Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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