Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
