Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
