am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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