Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
