I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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