operation have a gay friend backfired
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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