Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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