Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
