i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Someone shit on the floor
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
