Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

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(469): View more from Texas

I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.

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(512): View more from Texas

He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.

(713): View more from Texas

Yeah you should have just let that thought go.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian

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(406): View more from Montana

I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!

(224): View more from Illinois

Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.

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(716): View more from New York

I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag

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