you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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