well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
wow bdsm is so cute
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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