we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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