Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I love having hate sex.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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