The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
