I wish my penis had an off switch
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize