My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize