Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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